weight talk on blogs can be a little bit dangerous. everyone has an opinion about what they think is right. there are blogs that talk about food and weight and paint an off-balance picture. i’ve certainly talked about recipes as being healthy when really, i meant lightened up. it’s small, but that’s part of it.
it’s hard to get a full picture of how some is by only reading a blog. i don’t think a blog can show a person’s life completely.
that said, weight is something i’ve always struggled with and sometimes, i want to write about it here.
the idea of sharing is scary to me right now. i have gained 30 pounds in the last few years, the last (uncomfortable) 10 of which have only been in the last several months. (i guess a more fitting title for this post would have been “a post about the weight loss journey.” don’t want people assuming i’m currently in success mode. ;) )
i haven’t posted often about this because i’m tired of not making good decisions, and feeling like i’m not taking care of myself as well as i have before. i know life ebbs and flows, but i’m waiting for this ebb to kick it.
i’ve posted a couple of times about my struggle in the last year or two, but not often, because it can be embarrassing. and how many times can you say “i’m struggling. i’m not feeling awesome.”? not that many. even i stop reading.
it’s scary because there have been countless mentions – in real life, not blog life – of starting fresh, and “tomorrow is the day.” it’s frustrating to even think them so often.
hopefully it doesn’t become too mopey or dramatic. but this is what’s going on in real life, and i want to share that in blog life.
the blog has had a serious lack of selfies over the past year (read: i don’t love my picture right now), and i want to try again.
so, i’m working on recommitting myself to this whole weight watchers thing. i think it might be the best plan for me.
counting calories can be dangerous for me. 17 cal for an egg white; 130 cal for a mango. it lets me get to deep into planning in excruciating detail, and calculating over and over again to get a number that’s “just right.”
none of these plans are really ideal. in an ideal world, i’d be an intuitive eater. but that just might not happen for me. at least weight watchers simplifies the number.
no, it doesn’t make any sense that fruit is zero points+. but it does make sense that i feel encouraged to lean on some extra fruits and veggies instead of lower point, less whole, food.
and striving for lots of produce, and a total of 26, is easier to plan out that whatever calorie total i decided was low enough for a particular day. there’s less wavering and tweaking.
i love the my fitness pal app, and the idea of counting and tracking in a techie way. but i think pen and paper works best for me. it’s reliable. it’s easier to see where i’ve quit writing things down, and much more pleasant to look back at to review good days and bad days.
i bought a moleskine to use as my food journal last summer. i have some weight watchers three-month trackers, too. but for now i’m going to try a larger, simpler notebook version.
and that’s it. the plan for right now is to be mindful of all these things and try to remember them no matter what situation i’m in – at work, eating out, etc.