i woke up thanksgiving morning feeling really thankful.
then i found out my friend passed away. i haven’t been able to think about it without breaking down; and i still can’t talk about it much. her services were a week later. on e.p.’s birthday.
she was 28. we had been best friends growing up since we were 6. we used to ride bikes together and do crafts with her mama. her poor mama. we went to every homecoming together, every prom. we were on the tennis team together, and we had classes together from first grade to twelfth.
she’s always been sick, but there’s no way that makes this easy. she’d been defying odds for 28 years, and i think i got a little cocky expecting that she always would. even though she wasn’t feeling well, i got to see her on september 21. it was not a goodbye.
and that’s where we are. i had to put it out here because it felt like a lie not to. i don’t think she had been feeling well for a while. so maybe at some point there will be comfort in that. i just don’t know.
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what i do know is that i baked christmas cookies with my mom all day. it’s our best tradition. and i’ll keep on being thankful through the rest of the holidays. enjoying every day (and every one) feels a little more important now. i don’t know if it will feel weird to go back to “regular” posting now, but i’d like to get back to the habit. and looking for the good is always a good thing. taking photos and writing it all down… i think it sounds like a good idea this month.