I woke up on monday, in my “effort” to lose ten pounds… up four pounds.
I don’t remember ever seeing this number in recent history. how did this happen? a mexican feast the night before was probably a contributing factor. but seriously? 4 pounds? :( no good.
I went out to dinner with a close friend, instead of pulling up the covers and not venturing outside like I considered. she happens to be amazing. and on her way to becoming an RD. she’s already been working in dietetics for years.
when she started, we were talking healthy foods. I was telling her about my crazy kitchen experiments, and the new hippie foods I was trying. we were sharing articles we’d find about new nutrition studies.
and now, I’m eating out 5 times a week, still unable to lose the ten pounds that make or break my self esteem, and feeling overall lousy. I’m a vegetarian who forgets how simple it is to meet the 5 daily fruit and veggie requirement. what is that?
I don’t know how it happened.
and I’ve been struggling for a long time to turn this around. I’ve had a few good days here and there. and then I go back to eating crappy things. I’m barely exercising. obviously I feel just awesome about it…
so we talked foods. and we planned a week’s worth of meals for me. which I’ve done myself, probably 46 times in the last few months. but maybe having her behind it will encourage me to not forget about it 2 days in…
it’s entirely attainable. there’s a snack every day and a dessert every day. it has the right amount of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, to start. nothing is complicated, and I chose the foods, so it’s obviously things I like.
it’s just remembering that I’m not going to eat out like typical now. I’m going to prep the foods i want to take to work, just like I used to. that almost always works. but I’ve gotten out of the habit because I run out of time. which is pretty unacceptable.
already I’m struggling with that one. last night was date night, and my night to go out. but then I had indulgent leftovers tonight, and didn’t feel like cooking. but… I’m doing well with whole foods, fruits and veggies. and prepping breakfast and lunch every day. (holla!) I think it took me 5 minutes flat to prep my meals in the morning. why does it seem so difficult to pick up that habit?
she also asked if we could try something. as an experiment, she said. I’m back on sugar. no more splenda, no more stevia. I only really use them in the morning — in my coffee and either my yogurt or oatmeal.
she said all the studies are so interesting, and I know. I’ve read them, too. she’s hoping if I give my body real sugar in the morning, it won’t go hunting for it in the afternoon quite like it does right now.
ok. I’m game.
this one’s interesting so far. I’m not noticing much of a difference. I still want to snack on sugar in the afternoon. but it seems like maybe it’s satisfied more quickly? that’s probably just wishful thinking. but it’s only been however many days.
I also asked e.p. if he could help me get rid of temptation. for 2 weeks, is what the friend requested. these choices used to be simple. just, the way things were. and I felt pretty good about myself.
so here we go. again. and probably not the last one. but maybe the last one for now. woo! I’m considering a whole foods trip for a happening night tomorrow.
if anyone made it these 650 words, I am amazed. ;) there’s really no point for this post but exhaustion + frustration + missing a space to just ramble on. thank you + goodnight.