in keeping with the theme of “do it because you love it,” my current answer to the question “should I blog it?” shall be yes.
reading ashley’s post about turning 30, i started thinking…
truthfully, I’ve been doing some comparing. it’s never good and I wish I wouldn’t, but I have been. nothing that’s really bumming me out day to day, but it’s just sticking in my head. and usually it’s while I’m reading blogs. I read from the women around me, all having babies, having husbands, having careers or already choosing to be stay at home moms.
and then something happens, and somehow I see that they are my age. or they are younger than me.
and sometimes it’s easy to feel like I’m not living up. like how young can I possibly still be at this age? I have no idea what I want to do with myself / my career in the long run. I’ve been in a relationship and happy for quite sometime. but my sister was married three years at this point? no, had her first daughter for three years at this point.
I’ve never been one to sit down and make a life plan. I know it’s silly to say I’ll do this by year x. but marriage? and babies? I feel like I have so much work to do to get just this current stage squared away. to live it to its fullest.
but I’m rambling. my point was, I was reading ashley’s post, and she came at it from the other side. saying that she knows how her life is turning out might not be the standard or the ideal or what she had planned for herself. the comment was just said to set up the next thoughts she had. but I took a big step back.
she doesn’t think that was exactly what she had in mind years ago, either? crazy.
I guess we’re all just working on figuring it out. I guess it’s good to come up with a list of our ideals and hopes and dreams. what we have in mind for ourselves down the road or to-do lists to get us there. but I guess I’m not alone in having to constantly toss those lists and write the next one every time I sit down to cross things off. it’s a pretty nice feeling.
it also doesn’t hurt that I really do feel happy exactly where I am. work isn’t ideal, and I don’t know how to figure that part out. but when i just stop judging where I am, I’m happy. I’ve got family + e.p. + friends, and that’s all I need. and there’s not really a finish line to get to when it comes to the big decisions.
also, it’s the first day of summer / longest day of the year!!! i celebrated by ordering myself an ipad.